Caw...caw...

I decided this morning in the early haze of sleepiness when the first few sips of coffee haven't hit bloodstream yet that I am wiping the slate clean and starting over with this blog.

So, welcome to my blog of random musings, emotional processing, and psychological and spiritual exploration. And stuff I like and think is awesome and want to share with you fine people. Hopefully it doesn't suck, as Beavis and Butthead would say.

Tonight is our annual Halloween/Samhain/Dia de los Muertos hootenanny. This year there are a lot of people coming. A lot. My house is not that big. And I woke up this morning to find there's snow on the ground. Trying not to panic. Trying to wake up so I can drive to Robert's and get my cooler, run my last minute errands, and come home to vacuum, finish last minute cleaning, and start making my food contributions to the table of gluttony...er, plenty. Our party is a potluck, so people bring whatever they feel like (or not, it's not a requirement), and that's what we have. I usually make a few different things, cuz I'm the hostess and have to get things going. Husband is contributing a tray of awesome chicken. And a fire pit. I love my husband.

Seriously, we have this insane party every year, but this is actually a very important time of the year for me, both personally and spiritually. This year, my father has been dead for 25 years. 25. Years. That seems so insane. And my grandfather's been dead for 2 (he died a little more than a month after my wedding). His birthday is/was actually on Halloween, so I have always thought about him around this time. I liked finding Halloweeny birthday cards to send him.

Gods, I miss them so much. I usually get emotionally erratic in October, moreso as the month wears on, and when I find a moment to step back and remember I realize why.

And when I see people taking anything for granted, or not appreciating what they have, I want to choke them. And punch them. And kick them. Stupid people. Fucking appreciate what you have. So I guess this party is one of my ways for showing appreciation for what I have, my beloved, amazing friends (and family). I love you. I will always love you. Let me love you to death (to quote Peter Steele, RIP).

Blessings, always,

Ravensong